There’s A Way To Sorry- I’m Sorry.

What’s with the Sorry phase?
don’t ask.

When it comes to “I’m sorry,” it’s almost like the world depends on these two words- they have a multitude of meanings and each one can easily be inferred for the other. As aptly fitting as this day might be- sorry for that hiatus over the past three days- I was having problems with my laptop and it led to scheduling conflicts- now that that’s over, let’s get into today’s article.

More often than not people either under apologise or they over apologise. Under apologising isn’t really bad- in fact your’re once in a blue moon apologies do seem genuine. The other aspect though slowly becomes a habit- you end up developing this constant urge to say “sorry” even when things are not really your fault- I’m not going to discuss what over apologising is because this is something I struggle with and it’s not really a good habit to be an hypocrite when you actually know you’re being on.

So what exactly am I talking about when I say there’s a way to say sorry? It doesn’t matter how many times you say sorry if you don’t really mean it- and even if you do mean it, there is a way of saying sorry. Saying sorry doesn’t necessarily mean you need to go big or go home kind of a thing- sometimes if the person you are apologisng to, might not be in the zone to accept it and that’s okay. It really isn’t necessary that your sorry is the only thing required for someone to forgive you.

The first one is the most basic- a person’s feeling guilty so they are sorry not because they want to but to end their guilt. You really do not want to be on the side of going on a guilt trip. Ironically there is also another sorry not sorry waala sorry that dispenses a guilt trip ticket. Yes, sometimes a sorry can be aimed at making you feel guilty and make you apologise rather than the so-called offender. Playing with strings when it comes to sorry isn’t really new.

With guilt comes the feeling of remords and sometimes just sometimes when you get really guilty and there is an emotional brain freeze- there’s something else that comes- the feeling of bestowing control on someone else. In your guilt, chances are you might let go of emotional control. This is precisely where another sorry not sorry waala sorry comes into the picture- this is when you say “sorry” not because you want to but to appease someone else- it’s that long-awaited sorry in soap operas and the result is not sudden seamlessly choreographed dance but une danse of emotions that might not exactement be a Tandav- but une occasion someone has been waiting for to do exactly what they want- gain control.

There are also times when you apologise- not because you mean it but to simply end the long and boring conversation that you do not have any real interest in. It’s a sorry not sorry to show respect or for personal gains but it does exist. More often than not, all of these sorry not sorries form an alliance with the ultimate sorry not sorry- I’m not going to change but I’ll say it waala sorry. Yes, have there ever been times when you’ve said sorry without really understanding le scénario? This means you haven’t understood your mistake, not fully at least so how are you going to learn from it making this the ultimate “sorry not sorry,” Well “I’m sorry” can be really manipulative so watch out but don’t overthink.

(also a few of the words here have been translated into french- try learning some French vocabulary by basing the word around the context!)

So what really is the way to be sorry- it’s quite simple honestly- it’s the way you say it without making it a sorry not sorry. Your way of saying sorry might be unique to you, so keep it, but if you think it’s leaning towards a “sorry not sorry,” then better change it up.